Meeting the Lord Again

Jianding, USA

I was born into a Catholic family, and from an early age my mother taught me to read the Bible. At the time, the Chinese Communist Party was re-building the nation after the civil war, and as the CCP was suppressing all religions, I was 20 years old before I finally got the chance to go to church and listen to sermons. The priest often said to us: “We Catholics must properly confess our sins and repent. We must do good, not evil, and always go to Mass. During the last days, the Lord is going to come and judge everyone and send people to heaven or to hell according to how they have acted and behaved on earth. The biggest sinners will be punished in hell eternally, whereas those who commit minor sins can still go to heaven as long as they confess their sins to the Lord and repent. Anyone who doesn’t believe in the Lord will never get to heaven, no matter how good they are.” Whenever I heard this, I always congratulated myself for having the good fortune to be a member of the Catholic congregation from birth. I’d always tell myself to pursue hard, attend Mass more, and confess sins and repent to the Lord more, and that way I’d go to heaven and not suffer in hell. So that’s when I developed the determination to go to church and participate in Mass regularly. At that time, the priest also told us that in 2000 the Lord would return, and this news made us all very excited. So we all began to pursue earnestly, waiting for the Lord’s return. But the year 2000 came and went and we didn’t see any sign of the Lord’s return. Many in our congregation lost their faith, and fewer and fewer people attended church for Mass. I also felt a sense of loss, but I still felt that my faith in the Lord wouldn’t be shaken, no matter what others did. That was mainly because there had been many times when I’d been in danger and the Lord had protected me and made the danger disappear. Without the Lord’s protection I’d have died long ago, so I wasn’t going to be so ungrateful as to lose faith in the Lord.

God’s Word Leads Step by Step to Victory

Yili, USA

I was born in a Chinese Christian family, and my grandmother always used to take me to the church for gatherings and to sing hymns in praise of God when I was young…. After I grew up I obtained some grace of the Lord and experienced some of the Lord’s deeds, and I felt even more that the Lord is trustworthy. The Lord’s love for people is the truest, and the Lord’s word has authority and power and can give people hope. Whenever I would sing hymns, pray to the Lord, and read the word of the Lord, I would feel especially steady and tranquil in my heart. I came to the USA in 2007, and was baptized at church in October of 2010, when I began my service. At that time, my heart was impassioned. Because my house was far away from the church, I had to get up at 5:00 to take the subway there. But I felt a sweetness in my heart and that as long as I could satisfy God then suffering these hardships would be worth it. I took part in everything in the church, big or small, and I gained a lot of enlightenment from reading the Bible. But after a few years, without knowing why, when I listened to pastors I would doze off. I didn’t get any clear enlightenment from reading the Bible, and my spirit often sank down into weakness. When the pastor preached, I thought it was the same old cliches, without any new light. Every time I was at a gathering, as soon as it was over, the brothers and sisters would start chatting about things that had nothing to do with believing in the Lord. Some would be selling insurance, some would act as matchmakers, and still others talked about where they were going to go on vacation…. Seeing all this, I couldn’t help but be reminded of what was recorded in the Bible about how at the end of the Age of Law, when Jesus came to carry out His work, the Jews were doing business in the temple selling oxen and sheep and doves. When Jesus saw this, he overturned the moneychangers’ tables and the stools of those selling doves. He reprimanded them for having turned a temple for worshiping God into a den of thieves. Seeing the churches of today having become just like the temple was at that time was something that especially caused me to feel pain and helplessness in my heart. I was also perplexed and couldn’t understand how the church could have changed like this. For this reason, I would often come into the presence of God and lament bitterly, “Oh Lord! Where are You? The churches are already no longer churches, and most people just say they believe in You, but their hearts are actually very far from You. All that they do does not receive Your praise. Lord! Where are You? When will You come to receive us? …”

The Transformation of an Only Child

Bian Hua,    Yunnan Province

I started following Almighty God when I was 19 years old: As soon as I left school I joined The Church of Almighty God. I had had very little to do with society, and didn’t really know much about what was going on in it. But I did know that I totally represented one of the special characteristics of Chinese society in that I was a selfish only child.

With Life Hanging by a Thread, the Hand of God Came to the Rescue (Audio Essays)

Ling Wu, Japan

“If I were not saved by God, I would still be drifting in this world,

struggling hard and painfully in sin, every day bleak and hopeless.

If I were not saved by God, I’d still be crushed below the devil’s feet,

snared in sin and its enjoyments, ignorant of what my life would be.

It’s Almighty God who saves me; all God’s words have purified my heart.

Through God’s judgment and His chastisement, my corrupted disposition’s changed.

All the word and truth God expresses, it has all given me new life.

I have seen my God face to face and have tasted God’s true love.

Finally I’ve understood God’s loving hand holds mine as we go.

Now I have heard the voice of God and been raised before God’s throne.

The feast of my Christ I attend, to be perfected and purified by Him.

What I’d hoped for is finally realized, I have now been saved by God.”

I Have Found a True Home

Yangyang, USA

When I was three years old my father passed away. At that time my mother had just given birth to my younger brother, and my grandmother, owing to superstition, said that it was my mother and younger brother that caused my father’s death. For lack of a better option mother had to take my younger brother to her father’s house to live, so from the start of my earliest memories I was living together with my grandpa and grandma. Although my grandpa and grandma treated me well I still felt lonely and really wanted to be together with my mom and little brother. I hoped for the same kind of motherly love that other kids received. Really, what I was asking for wasn’t much, all I wanted was a true family, a mother who loved me dearly, who I could share my true feelings with. But even this small ask turned into an extravagant hope. I was only able to see my mother on the weekends. Whenever I got into trouble at school mom was never there by side either, I was like a small patch of grass by the side of the road, nobody showed any interest in me. Over time I became very self-abased, I held everything back in my heart and didn’t take initiative to interact with others. When I was sixteen there were some people in my village who were going abroad for work, and the idea tempted me. I thought to myself: My family conditions aren’t very good, if I were to go abroad then I could earn my own living, and even give some of my earnings to my family. That way I could help my family live a little better.

      In August 2000, I came to the United States to make it alone. While there I’d wake up early in the morning and work all day late into the night, and there was no one by my side whom I could share my thoughts with. I forced myself to hold it together on the outside, but on the inside I felt especially lonely and desolate. Whenever I felt this way I would really miss my family, and I would yearn even stronger to be able to have a happy family.

When I was 21 I got to know my husband while working at a restaurant. He was dependable and devoted to his parents, so I had a favorable impression of him. One time, I sprained my foot while not being careful, and to my surprise he quit his job to take care of me, which made me feel very touched. I slowly started to depend on him. In April 2008 we got married. I felt like I had found someone with whom I could entrust my life to, and finally it felt like I had a family to call my own. I felt very happy in my heart, what I had hoped for for so many years had finally come true. After getting married my husband’s sister and I partnered up to start a building materials company, but since I was the only one in our family who knew English, the entire company was basically supported by me. On the one hand I was looking after everyone in my family, and on the other hand I was managing the company. Through several years of struggle I not only was able to help my husband pay back his previous debts, I was also able to collect some savings for my family. Originally I had thought that my investment would win me the respect of my husband’s family, but the reality was a slap in the face to me. Once the business started having some success we planned to have a child, but I couldn’t get pregnant. Because of this I took a lot of medicine and visited lots of doctors, but I didn’t see a single ray of hope. My husband was the eldest son in his family, and his parents and other relatives lost hope in me since we didn’t give them a grandchild. Facing this kind of pressure my husband’s attitude toward me also changed dramatically from before. Afterward, everyone in my husband’s family changed their attitudes toward me. My husband’s older sister would often say things to exclude me, and would even distort the facts to say bad things about me in front of my husband. I felt I had been wronged, so I told my husband how I was feeling. He not only didn’t understand me, he even started yelling at me while I was explaining myself, which made me feel even more hurt and wronged. Later on, we went to the hospital for another checkup, and finally found out that it was actually a problem with my husband’s body. But this was no longer important, because after several years of fighting our relationship had become a mess. Starting from the beginning of 2012 my husband would often go back to China to visit doctors and carry out business, only coming back home once every six months. Every time he came back he was just to get money, telling me that the company he was running back in China needed funding to cover its costs, but he was completely indifferent toward me. In this way we were barely ever together for over three years, and our relationship drifted further apart.

      In September 2015 we finally ended up getting a divorce. What hurt me the most was that when we were dividing up our property my husband went so far as to entrust a lawyer to make me sign a contract saying that if the court did not approve our divorce then within a week I would have to give him the entire portion of earnings I had made. Another lawyer had me think it over carefully, if I signed this contract it would be very detrimental to me, and he said that he could help me write an agreement that would win me alimony. Seeing my husband be so cold and ruthless made me feel very disillusioned. From first falling in love to getting married, for nearly a decade I gave everything to my husband and this family, to which no amount of money or possessions could compare. But now, because my husband couldn’t have a child, he and his family placed all blame on me, and turned heartless toward me, without the slightest consideration for my feelings. What I got in return for what I put in was a lot of pain and a broken heart. I felt exhausted. I didn’t want anything to do with this family, I just wanted to leave this home as soon as possible and get far away from these people who hurt me so deeply. So, without the slightest hesitation I signed my name.

After my divorce I felt very helpless. I didn’t know whom I could believe in, and I didn’t know whom I could go to and share my feelings with. Every time that I thought about my own failed marriage it made me feel so depressed and sorrowful. I reexamined my current self. In order to have a child I took so much medicine with hormones that I gained half again the weight of my original size. I was so afraid that others would see me now in these dire straits, in this difficult situation that I was in. On the surface I feigned being strong, but in my heart I felt extremely weak. I really did long for the day that I would be able to live a life where my spirit could be set free. It was from this point in time that I started having the desire to believe in God.

Not long after this, I ran into Carmen one day while at the mall shopping for clothes. She was very enthusiastic in helping me, and we exchanged phone numbers. Afterward I saw a message she posted on WeChat, and I discovered that she was a Christian. Carmen would often share with me God’s love for man, and I felt very moved in my heart. I gradually discovered that I—originally someone who was closed off—was willing to open my heart and interact with other people. As Carmen and I got to know each other I opened up to her about the suffering that I had felt in my heart these past many years. Carmen really understood my suffering, and she shared with me a similar experience that she had gone through. I felt that I had met someone who truly cared for me, and it warmed my heart. One day Carmen invited me to another sister’s home where I met Brother Kevin and several other sisters from The Church of Almighty God. While being with them I felt that they were quite different from the people I had met in the past. Whenever I was with other people, even if they were my relatives or friends, it felt like I wasn’t truly understood when I opened up my heart to them. On the contrary, I would worry that I would be ridiculed by them, so I wasn’t willing to share my feelings with anyone. However, while with Carmen and these others I felt very at ease, for they were all able to understand my suffering, and they even shared with me their own experiences. It truly was difficult to imagine how sincerely I could open up my heart and talk with everyone here the first time I met them, how we all shared our experiences with one another. I felt like these brothers and sisters treated me like a relative more than my family did, which was something I had never experienced before while living in this world over the past several decades, and it made me feel very touched inside.

Later, we all got together to watch the musical Xiaozhen’s Story from The Church of Almighty God, which I thought was so touching. The story in the movie was so true: As a child, the heroine in the film played with her friends innocently and without impurity, but once they grew up and came across needing to fend for themselves, everyone’s heart began to gradually change. They started to scheme against each other, even becoming enemies and fighting with one another. There was no affection or friendship. I couldn’t help but think of all those years my husband and I struggled. Because we couldn’t have a child there was a fracture in our relationship, ending when we split up our property and my husband actually started calculating against me. It made me think about how terrible people really are, whenever it’s their own interests at stake all feelings become unworthy of mention. Fortunately, the heroine in the film eventually finds God, and returns to God’s home, where God becomes the only thing she can rely on, and she is no longer lonely, nor does she go on feeling indecisive and helpless. I felt quite moved after seeing this, holding back tears in my eyes. I thought to myself: “When Xiaozhen returned to God she took off the mask worn for survival and truly lived in the presence of God, receiving His salvation, and being able to live a liberated and free life. So, Almighty God surely will also save me, allowing me to live as happily as Xiaozhen.” Then I heard the words of Almighty God: “Mankind, who left the supply of life from the Almighty, does not know why they exist, and yet fears death. There is no support, no help, but mankind is still reluctant to close their eyes, braving it all, drags out an ignoble existence in this world in bodies without the consciousness of souls. You live like such, with no hope; he exists like such, with no aim. There is only the Holy One in the legend who will come to save those who moan in suffering and long desperately for His arrival. This belief cannot be realized so far in the people who are unconscious. However, the people still yearn for it so. The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a father. You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along” (“The Sighing of the Almighty” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Upon hearing these words it was as if my mother was calling out for me, and it seemed like I had returned to my mother’s side, where I felt an incomparable warmth in my heart. As it turns out, God has always been by my side watching over me, waiting for my return. I was no longer alone. God knows my plight and my needs. In my greatest time of need, when my spirit ached the most, He, through brothers and sisters spreading the gospel to me, brought me back into the house of God, where I received God’s salvation and enjoyed the love God has for me. In that moment I felt like a lost child who had finally found home, who had found their family, and I really felt truly blessed!

After this, I started participating in church life, and through reading the word of Almighty God I felt that I had found something I could truly rely on, that there was goal and direction in my life. However, since I understood little about the truth, every time I thought about my failed marriage I would still feel pain in my heart. I hated the way that my husband’s family had treated me, and every time I thought about it I would start to feel my heart sink into despair. So, in order to seek the truth and find answers, I prayed to God about my troubles, and I opened up to the brothers and sisters and told them about my problems as well. One time, Brother Kevin shared with me this passage from the word of Almighty God: “Man walked through the ages with God, yet man knows not that God rules the fate of all things and living beings or how God orchestrates and directs all things. … None actively seek out the footsteps or appearance of God, and none wish to exist in the care and keeping of God. Rather, they are willing to rely on the corrosion of Satan and the evil one in order to adapt to this world and to the rules of life the wicked mankind follows. At this point, the heart and spirit of man are sacrificed to Satan and become its sustenance. Moreover, the human heart and spirit become a place in which Satan can reside and a fitting playground for it. In this way, man unknowingly loses his understanding of the principles of being human…. God loses the man of His original creation, and man loses the root of his beginning. This is the sorrow of this mankind” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Brother Kevin fellowshiped on this, telling me: “The reason that our lives are so full of pain is because we fail to see through the fact that mankind is corrupted by Satan. In fact, mankind has been corrupted by Satan for thousands of years. For a long time now we have been used to everything Satan instills in us. Mankind relies on Satan’s rules of survival to live, making us self-seeking, selfish, contemptible and without conscience. Your former husband’s family was able to treat you in the way they did because they too were controlled by such feudal thoughts as ‘Carry on one’s ancestral line,’ ‘There are three ways to be unfilial, having no sons is the worst,’ and ‘Bring up children so as to be looked after in old age’ that had been instilled in them by Satan, and when your husband was dividing up your property he didn’t consider at all your many years of being together as husband and wife, this too was him being affected and controlled by such rules of survival as ‘Money is first’ and ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,’ which turned him selfish and unfeeling. Because of Satan’s corruption people simply cannot get along with each other, and there is no happiness in our lives. All the suffering that we experience is caused by Satan’s afflictions. All of our families are afflicted by Satan as well, the entire human race is under Satan’s domain, and without the freedom to act independently we are harmed by Satan. So, without God’s guidance, people relying on the philosophies and laws of Satan to live have lives that are without true blessings and happiness. In our lives what we need the most is not material wealth or the love of our families, but rather God’s salvation. What we need is to be supplied with the word of God. God alone can lead us to break away from Satan’s corruption and affliction, and restore our conscience and reason, enabling us to live like true people and obtain freedom and liberation.” After listening to Brother Kevin’s fellowship I suddenly realized: As it turns out it wasn’t just me who lived in suffering, but rather the entire human race had been fooled by Satan and corrupted by Satan, all were struggling with pain. So long as man comes before God and accepts God’s salvation, then they can break away from the affliction of Satan, and walk away from this suffering. This is the only way to obtain happiness and freedom. Once I understood this my mind felt so clear, and I was able to let go of so much. Thanks be to God’s salvation!

Once I understood the root cause for why man lives in pain I realized that the resentment I held toward my former husband’s family was all the result of Satan’s afflictions, and this made me even willing to try and forgive them and stop holding a grudge against them. When I started putting the word of God into practice I felt a lot more joy in my heart. One day in August 2016 I ran into my former husband on the street. We greeted each other and I felt clearly in my heart that I no longer resented him, because I knew that he had been living with Satan’s afflictions, that he had been fooled and tormented by Satan. If I have the opportunity I will spread the gospel of God in the last days to him, so that he too can come before God and receive the Creator’s salvation. In that moment I felt that God truly is so lovable, and that God’s word is the truth. So long as we come before God and receive His salvation, then we can free ourselves from the binds of Satan and obtain freedom and liberation, and live happy and blessed lives.

Every time that I watch the dance and song video The Happiness in the Good Land of Canaan I feel so happy. I feel like they are singing about what I feel in my heart: “I’ve returned to God’s family, excited and happy. My hands hold my beloved, my heart belongs to Him. Though I’ve passed through the Vale of Tears, I’ve seen God’s loveliness. My love for God grows day by day, God is the source of my joy. Bewitched by the beauty of God, my heart is attached to Him. I can never love God enough, songs of praise well up in my heart. In this blessed land of Canaan, all is fresh, all is new…. Canaan’s land, the world of God’s words; His love brings us unending joy. Fragrance of fruits fills the air. If you live here for a few days, you will love it more than anything. Never will you want to leave.” When I think back on the road I’ve been down, regardless of what I experienced on the way God has always been by my side watching over me, and in the end He took me back into His home. Now every day I enjoy being watered and provided for by the word of Almighty God. The pain I felt inside has gone away, and I have found direction in my life. I have obtained true freedom and happiness. Thanks be to God for saving me, I will strive to pursue the truth and fulfill my duty as a creation as best I can to repay God’s love. All the glory be to Almighty God!

To Be an Honest Person Is Truly Great! (Audio Essay)

Wu Ming, China

One day in 2004 a friend said to me: “Every day you get up early and are busy all day cutting cloth, you exhaust yourself, yet you still don’t make money. Today’s society relies on the tongue to make money, like the popular saying goes: ‘It is better to have a slick tongue than to have strong arms and legs.’ You know that I’m now engaging in the direct sales business selling makeup products, not only does it make me beautiful, I also don’t need to exert too much effort each day, I just need to speak a few words with my customers and sell my products in order to make a lot of money. Why don’t you change jobs and come sell makeup products with me?” I looked my friend over, she really was prettier than before, and then I thought about how I had been a dressmaker for over 10 years, how I hadn’t really made any money at it, and how I wasn’t getting any younger. If it really was like what my friend was saying, if by switching to a job where I sold makeup products I could make easy money, and could even become younger and prettier and win the high praises of others, then that would be much better! As I thought about this, I told her right then and there that I was willing to become a part of the company. Later, after my inspection, I ordered over 3,000 yuan worth of products, and I started my job in the cosmetics industry as a beauty consultant for this company.

Returning to Life From the Brink of Death

By Yang Mei, China

In 2007 I suddenly fell ill with chronic renal failure. On being told the news, my Christian mother and sister-in-law, and some Catholic friends all came to visit me to preach the gospel to me. They all told me that I only had to go to God and my illness would be cured. But I didn’t believe in God at all. I thought that illness could only be cured through scientific medical treatment, and that any disease that couldn’t be cured by science was incurable. After all, was there any power on earth greater than the power of science? Faith in God was just a form of psychological crutch, and I was an upstanding state school teacher, a person who was educated and cultured, so there was no way I’d start believing in God. So I turned them down and started looking around for medical treatment. Within a few years I’d been to virtually every large hospital in my home county and throughout the province, but my condition didn’t improve. In fact, it was getting worse, but I stubbornly clung to my own way of looking at the situation and insisted that science could change anything and that curing illness was just a question of finding the right process.

Finding God Is True Happiness (Part 2)

Wang Kai

After praying, I read some of God’s words: “‘Money makes the mare go’ is the philosophy of Satan and it prevails among every human society. You could say that it is a trend because it has been imparted to everyone and is now affixed in their heart. People went from not accepting this saying to growing used to it so that when they came into contact with real life, they gradually gave tacit approval to it, acknowledged its existence and finally, they gave it their own seal of approval. Is this right? (Yes.) Isn’t this process that of Satan corrupting man?” (“God Himself, the Unique V” in Continuation of The Word Appears in the Flesh). “With man’s demand for ever increasing amounts of money, people unknowingly came to love money, love gain and love enjoyment more and more. So did people come to view money as more important? When people view money as more important, they unknowingly neglect their reputation, their renown, prestige, and integrity; they neglect all these things, don’t they? When you engage in business, you see someone else taking different approaches and using various means to swindle people and get rich. Although the money earned is ill-gotten gains, they get richer and richer. Their whole family engages in the same business as you, but they enjoy life more than you do, and you feel bad, saying: ‘Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I earn as much as they do? I must think of a way to get more money, to make my business prosper.’ You then ponder this through. … Every single person wants to use cheating means and violent methods to live in amongst their fellow man; they lie, cheat and become violent in order to seize their own livelihood; … they do anything they want using violent and evil ways. Is this humanity not terrifying? (Yes.) After hearing Me talk about these things just now, do you not think it terrifying to live in amongst this kind of crowd, in this world and in this environment that Satan has corrupted? (Yes.) So have you ever felt yourselves to be pitiful? You must feel it a little now. (Yes.)” (“God Himself, the Unique VI” in Continuation of The Word Appears in the Flesh).

The Fruits of Obeying God

Xie Cheng

A few days ago, my leader Sister Cheng told me that the church had a new work that required some manpower, and asked me whether I’d be willing to do it. Hearing my leader say this, I was beside myself with joy, and I thought: “For three months now, I’ve been reflecting on how I was replaced because my striving for fame and gain in my duties interrupted and disturbed the church’s work. Now, at last, I can perform my duty again! If my brothers and sisters knew this, they’d definitely pay special regard to me, and would think that I’ve made progress by experiencing this failure.” I agreed to do it there and then. After my leader had gone, every day I looked forward to receiving notice of my new duty, but the days went by and no notice arrived. What did arrive was a stack of paper documents, and my leader asked me to type them up. Holding this stack of paper documents, my heart was full of questions: “What’s the meaning of this? Wasn’t it agreed that I’d be doing a new duty? How then can I be asked to type up all these paper documents? What am I, a typist? What on earth’s going on? If I’m not going to be doing the new duty, then surely my leader has to tell me why!” My mind was in a whirl, and I was unwilling to accept the reality of the situation. Faced with this pile of documents, I thought: “Typing isn’t a real duty. Anyone can do this work. Aren’t I a little overqualified to stay at home just typing up all these documents? If I’m not able to do any important duty, my brothers and sisters will surely say that, after being replaced, I still don’t have any true knowledge of myself and have not truly reflected on myself. What’s more, if I’m staying at home typing all day, then no matter how much I do or how well I do it, no one will know about it and I won’t have a chance to shine. I’ll forever be just a nobody, without any possibility of being promoted or put to some important use.” I was filled with misgivings, but I couldn’t refuse; all I could do was accept the duty.